Like a lot of food bloggers, I try not to get *too* personal here (although I’m not really that bothered by sharing information). But for three-quarters of a year, I haven’t been taking very good care of myself emotionally or physically. Sure, you might think with the little snippets you see posted here that I eat healthy all the time and make time to go to Sweden for 12 days, but to tell the truth, I should have gotten really sick somewhere along the way. I’ve been strangely lucky. Between working two jobs I’ve had very little energy to work on personal projects (like this blog), to cook at home, and to be mindful and present in my relationships and with myself. I started drinking coffee every day because I knew I wouldn’t take a break to eat some real food at work, and by the time my workday was done I was reaching for prepackaged food (usually things I’d made at work) to get something in my body before I slept or sat doing nothing for the rest of the day. My partner missed eating homecooked meals together, we spent a lot of money eating out instead, and I was so stressed out at work that I spent most of my shifts struggling not to burst into tears.
There comes a time when you have to set priorities straight, and I could not take care of myself in the best way possible while continuing to work my full-time job. I was in too deep in the stress of working too much for too long. Though it was a very difficult decision to make–because there are many perks to working full-time at my one job including getting to work with some of the most amazing people I know–in a short while I’ll be down to one part-time job with no health insurance and no discounted groceries. And you know what? It feels GREAT. I’m the happiest I’ve been for a long time, I’m excited to fall in love with food in my own house again, and I’m so excited that I’ll be able to spend more time with the people I love.
Already I’ve been celebrating with my very special ladyfriend, making dinner together and eating outside by candlelight, and I have the awesome opportunity to be a recipe tester again, this time for Ricki, for whom I would fly to Canada and, if she wasn’t happily married and I wasn’t happily partnered, ask her to marry me because of her recipes. For serious. Those two sweet treats pictured up top are from her upcoming anti-candida recipe e-book, and they are delicious!
I’ve already got plans in the works for some recipes I want to post, and I’ve even started going through my mess of notebooks and scattered computer files to resurrect my own new recipe zine. So thanks for bearing with me on this bumpy journey towards a happier me, and hopefully the happiness will spread like a beautiful infection (really, are there any positive counterparts to words like that? I can’t come up with any) to anyone who’s having a rough time of it lately. I miss you guys and gals